Pregnancy Tests  & Parents
by SerialAuthor
Summary: SasuNaru Mpreg KakaIru  Naruto get's pregnant. Sasuke passes out. Iruka is the true demon of the family  move over Tsunade . Kakashi is just there to occasionally impregnate his love, and provide support. Weird, I'm sorry. I'm sick.


**SerialAuthor:**** Okay, well, here comes another one. Why do I do this? The answer is: I don't know. Will the other stories I had posted, and deleted, (I.e. **_**Bad Romance**_**, **_**Next**_**, etc.) ever come back? Most likely yes. I'm just hoping I don't start going through a revolution where everything old is no good anymore.**

**Pregnancy Tests & Parents**

He looked down sadly at the smiley face on the pregnancy test, and sighed.

This was definitely not good. Stupid smiley face.

He stuffed the plastic white stick and the instruction sheet back into the blue male pregnancy testing kit. He'd have to throw it away somewhere else where annoying siblings could see it and ask their parents what it was.

He could already imagine it:

_**Iruka **__making dinner when little __**Akane, **__the most curious of the two siblings he had, walked into the kitchen with her twin __**Sano,**__ who was so innocent, and gullible since he was always being dragged into things with his sister, following her holding the blue box._

"_Mommy, what's this?" she would ask innocently bringing attention to the blue box that pictured a happy male couple holding a cute, and adorable baby in their arms._

_**Iruka**__ would freeze, and stare at the box before hastily grabbing it of their possessions and telling __**Sano**__ and __**Akane**__ to take a shower or something, and the two would then go to raid the cookie closet._

_Then __**Kakashi**__ would walk in see the box and smile slyly as he glides across the floor over to where __**Iruka**__ is standing in front of a knife rack and a cutting board filled with diced vegetables where he would wrap his arms around __**Iruka's**__ waist and pull him close._

"_Geez, if you wanted to try for more kids all you had to do was ask," __**Kakashi**__ would whisper into his ear._

"_It's not mine," __**Iruka**__ would whisper into his ear._

_**Kakashi**__ would pause his perverted ministrations and would then would move back to look at __**Iruka**__ closely, and calculatingly._

"_What do you mean by it isn't yours?" __**Kakashi **__would look confused, and the wheels in his head would be zooming visibly from the outside._

"_I mean it isn't mine's! So it has to belong to. . . Oh My God!"_

* * *

><p>Naruto wondered whether his adoptive parents would also kill the father of his unborn child.<p>

Zipping up his pants he decided to think about his future funeral another time when he wasn't about to be late for school.

Washing his hands he put the box into his overstuffed backpack that he swore that he had organized last night and ran down the stairs grabbing his lunch and a water bottle before leaving in his Camry Hybrid.

He only had to stop and throw up once on the side of the road, which he felt kind of proud, because he remembered when he had to stop a couple of times and had been late.

* * *

><p>"So, you're pregnant?" Gaara and Neji asked simultaneously.<p>

"Yeah."

"With Mr. Uchiha's child?" they asked again.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do you guys think I sleep around or something. And seriously, guys, do you both work on this simultaneous talking thing, or what?" he asked back annoyed.

"Sorry," Neji spoke, "we just wanted to make sure."

"When did this start?"

"Junior year."

"Did you guys just all of a sudden decide to bang or was there a follow up before this surprising impregnation?" Gaara asked.

"Well, it started when our regular gym teacher was out and he was the sub. . ."

Naruto was running late and he cursed his bad luck of always getting in trouble, even when it was his pranks that were getting him caught. He ran through the halls towards the gym hoping for a miracle that would consist of Mr. Gai not being there yet.

He went into the changing room and began taking his clothes off when he heard a throat being cleared.

Naruto turned around to be hit by the vision sexy personified, and blushed.

"Are you Naruto?" the man asked.

"Um, yeah."

"I'm the substitute, and I was told to be here to supervise your detention. Your teacher also left a note for you to be given the Platinum Package. I've set the course up outside. So when you're ready please join me."

Naruto paled. Platinum. What he did wasn't that bad. It didn't deserve this. And right when he was getting used to the Gold Package, too!

"If you want I'll join you. Misery loves company."

"Oh thank you, Mr.?"

"Uchiha. Its Mr. Uchiha."

"Well, thanks, Mr. Uchiha."

When he turned around to get dressed he didn't know if it was him or just wishful thinking, but he could feel Mr. Uchiha's eyes on him taking in his petite, lithe package.

He blushed wondering what the man was thinking about him. He now wished that he could read minds.

* * *

><p>"Oh my Gosh!" Naruto groaned as he collapsed onto the bench his whole body in pain. He now wished that he had taken Lee's advice to take the extracurricular intense training sessions that had been offered by their crazy gym teacher.<p>

"Are you okay, dobe?"

Naruto winced. In less than a couple of hours he had already established less than friendly nicknames with the teacher.

"Please," Naruto groaned sitting up. "I am in pain, and would love some morphine, or whatever they use to knock you out when you go under."

Sasuke laughed at him, and Naruto tried to remember that heavenly sound and save it for later.

He stood up slowly and grabbed a towel groaning while walking towards the showers.

He left the sub there thinking that he would just leave, and Naruto would only be left with fantasies of how this all could have gone, but that wasn't meant to be.

Putting his clothes in a cubbyhole, and his towel on a hook he stepped under a shower head, and turned it on. He let the cold water pound into his muscles until the temperature changed and his muscles relaxed.

When he was done he walked out in only his towel to find Sasuke sitting on a bench dressed and waiting.

"I thought you would need a ride since its dark and raining."

Naruto dressed feeling the eyes on him again while trying to fight off a panic attack.

The eyes made him feel good.

* * *

><p>"Is this really a view of Konoha?"<p>

"Of course it is. You've lived here your whole life, but you've never been up here, or have seen this?" Sasuke asked him wrapping his arms around his waist and lightly kissing the back of his neck.

"Well, sorry, but just because you've lived somewhere your whole life doesn't mean you know where all the 'hotspots' are. That is a common misconception made by people who have just come to Konoha, well, any town," Naruto told him looking over in the direction of his home from atop the cliff.

"I should educate you then. It could be one of your presents for your birthday," Sasuke whispered into his ear.

Naruto felt himself being turned around.

"Only if you want to, Mr. U-chi-ha," Naruto replied dragging out his name.

He felt his mouth being taken over not bothering to fight over who was more dominant.

Sasuke reached in between his legs and grabbed hi thighs and hoisted him up taking him away from the edge and placing him on the trunk of the car. He stood in the place between his legs.

"Happy Birthday Naruto," Sasuke whispered between kisses. "I love you."

Naruto only paused for a moment before smiling and returning the affection.

It had all been going well before he felt Sasuke's hands trailing under his shirt.

Moving his mouth away, both of them groaning at the loss of contact, he grabbed Sasuke's roaming hand and held it in both of his.

"Sasuke you know I'm not ready."

"I'm sorry, but you are just so tempting to me," Sasuke whispered into the space of his neck.

"Thanks for the compliment, but I don't feel so hyped up anymore. I want to go home. Now," Naruto demanded head tilted back to look up into the dark sky. The mood was gone, and Naruto really just didn't want to be here anymore.

"Naruto, I'm really sorry."

Naruto just nodded in return and slid off the trunk.

Sex. At this moment of his life he didn't want it, regardless of the popular theory that all men wanted sex. It complicated simple things, and Naruto didn't want that.

He liked knowing that his relationship with Sasuke was real and had nothing to with sex.

As he was driven home Sasuke held his hand assuring him that he would wait, ignoring the fact that him saying that didn't make Naruto feel any better, and that he was satisfied just being there with him.

* * *

><p>His first time was after prom in his senior year, which was awkwardly placed on his birthday, at a hotel in a presidential suite. The honeymoon suite had been taken.<p>

"Sasuke do you love me?"

"So very much."

"How much"

"Its too hard to describe, but I'll try. I want to drown in you, because it makes me feel alive. I want to keep you captive because I only want my worthless eyes to be able to look at you. I want to eat you so you'll always be a part of me and your with me all the time, and so no one will ever to be contaminate you."

Sasuke had been half-right. Naruto, logically, didn't understand him, but he felt they same way.

"I love you Sasuke."

* * *

><p>"Well, the prom was a month ago, so, you're like a month pregnant," Neji told him speaking first. "Or were there any other times you were naughty with sensei?"<p>

"No, that was the only time. It was nice, but sex just isn't my. . . you know?"

"I'm going to have a talk with Mr. Uchiha later," Gaara spoke suddenly breaking his silence.

"No threats. Please."

Gaara didn't promise him anything.

"Well, go tell him. Today's our last day."

Naruto got up slowly learning the hard way, not to mention the nasty, chunky, acidic way, that standing up too fast was not a great idea.

"And remember if that douche bag doesn't accept the baby we'll raise him with you," Neji spoke grabbing Gaara's hand.

Naruto smiled and walked away till he heard Neji speak again.

"I want a baby."

"Maybe later."

"Gaara, we are going to have sex, and if I don't end up pregnant, you're going to be sorry."

Naruto choked on his laughter as he walked away, and heard a groan of pain.

* * *

><p>While walking to the classroom the bell rang signaling the end of the last day of school.<p>

He stopped in front of the dark classroom, and walked in to see Sasuke staring outside of the window.

"Sasuke, I have something to tell you."

"Wait. Naruto I have to tell you something."

Naruto just nodded.

"Sit down, Naruto. Please, " Sasuke said gesturing towards an empty desk.

Naruto sat down in the first empty desk he could find and looked at Sasuke.

"Yes?"

"I love you. I know you know that already, but I just want you to know that I will wait for you until you come back from college."

Naruto smiled as he watched Sasuke walk over to him slowly and get down on one knee, and pull something from his shirt pocket. . .

What?

"This will be our pre-engagement ring. Do you accept me, and the token of my love?"

Naruto looked down at the ring. The band was gold, and written across it in encrusted diamonds were their initials. _SU _loves _NU. _Sasuke's were used with onyx, the heart was a heart shaped ruby, and his own initials were sapphire.

"Um, yeah. I do. Yeah, of course," Naruto rambled accepting the ring being slid onto his finger.

He was finally silenced by Sasuke who kissed him.

"Now what did you want to tell me?" Sasuke asked looking into his eyes the dark irises alight with joy.

"Um what?" Naruto asked staring at his left ring finger.

"You said you had something to tell me. What is it?"

As Naruto felt a gurgle in his stomach he remembered what he had to say.

"I'm pregnant."

"What? How far along are you?" Sasuke asked looking at his clothed stomach.

"A month."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, if there is another reason I have been feeling like crap, throwing up all the time, and can see my belly growing out than please, do tell me."

"I'm sorry, but what are we going to do? You can't get an abortion," like that was even an option, Naruto scoffed, "you can't stay here, because you have school, and I can't go with you, because I have work."

"I'll stay. You can't lose your job to go with me where you might not be able to get one, and I can always go to school next year. The scholarship doesn't demand that I go to school right away," Naruto told him. It was just nice knowing that Sasuke respected his education.

"No, no, I don't want you to do that, because of me. I don't really need this job. I can go with you, and you can still go to school, and everything will be taken care of."

Naruto looked at him. "I'm not into having an underground life. So if you're talking about what I think you're talking about I suggest you stop right now."

Sasuke smiled at him, and kissed him again.

"No. I'm one of the heirs to the Uchiha Corporation," Sasuke announced to a blank Naruto.

"Should I know who they, well, you are and do?" he asked.

"We, along with a few other companies by the name of Hyuga, and Sabaku no, rule the world's economy."

"And that's good, right?" Naruto asked.

"That's very good," Sasuke said kissing him again.

"So when do you want to tell my family?" Naruto asked getting out of the chair to snuggle up to Sasuke.

Sasuke sat down, and placed Naruto in between his legs.

"When do you want me to?"

"Today would be the best. My mom Iruka for some reason can make me spill secrets with just a look. He says that he doesn't know what I'm talking about, but I know he does it on purpose. And if I keep avoiding him he'll know something is up. So it is just a lose-lose situation."

"Okay. We might as well do it today. It will give them time to get used to it before we have to move," Sasuke whispered.

"You must be the luckiest person in the world," Naruto told Sasuke.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke smiled at Naruto's seemingly cocky behavior.

"My friend Gaara is very protective of me, and very violent, so if you had douched out your life would have been in danger."

Sasuke looked down at Naruto who was smiling up at him.

* * *

><p>While Naruto was driving home he realized something. Today was Friday, and the end of school, which meant that there would be everyone at his home including his dangerous godmother, who was also his principal, which was precisely why Iruka had chosen that school, his perverted godfather, and everyone else that he'd want to keep a secret.<p>

Oh Gosh, he thought pulling over. He had to throw up.

When he finally got home he saw Sasuke's car devoid of Sasuke, and looked towards home.

He walked slowly up the steps to the door, and thought he heard things that meant if he crossed the threshold his life would end soon after the door closed.

Before he could turn back the door was opened, and he was pulled inside.

"We thought you might try to run away," whispered Gaara and Neji in each of his ears.

When they let go of him his mother, Iruka, hugged him tightly.

"If I don't do this I think I might hurt Mr. Uchiha. So just let me be."

Naruto wrapped his arms around Iruka and was grateful this hadn't turned into a murder scene. Which reminded him, where was Tsunade? He was sure that she would have at least made some threat, or at least hit him when he walked, well, was dragged, through the door.

"If you're looking for me," said a voice that stopped his arms from moving in the vertical motion they had been going on Iruka's back, he was trying to calm him down before hugging him wasn't enough, "I'm right here."

He stood a little higher trying to look over Iruka's shoulder and saw her, well, a part of her, but that was enough for him to know that she was here, and that staying in his mother's arms would perhaps be the safest place he could be in the world. Unfortunately, at that moment Iruka had decided that this had been enough hug therapy and moved back to his seat near Kakashi, who had been perving on Iruka's body since he had stood up.

"I am not going to let any marrying to anyone happen, as indicated by the ring on Naruto's finger, until you tell me the plans you have made for the future."

Naruto looked from Iruka to Sasuke who came to stand by him and was now staring at Tsunade, his soon-to-be former boss and future, should they live, Godmother-in-law, who was giving him dangerous looks that to be honest were scary, but weren't as scary as his mother's when he was seriously not happy.

"Well," Naruto began not appreciating the stares being directed at him, "he says that I can still go to college, and that he'll go to work at Uchiha Corporation, which he tells me is really good," he ignored the eye rolls he got. It wasn't his fault that economic situations didn't interest him.

"Where will you live?" Iruka asked.

Naruto turned to Sasuke who was still staring at Tsunade.

"Sasuke!' he yelled hitting him in the shoulder.

"What?"

"Where are we going to live?"

"I still own my homes so we can choose any of them to live in," Sasuke replied rubbing his shoulder.

Naruto looked to Iruka who looked very tired/murderous at the moment. Kakashi must have also noticed, because he stood up and clapped his hands together to get everyone's attention.

"You know what it is getting very late. I think that we all should jus-"

"Kakashi if you know what's good for you, you will sit down, and comfort me," Iruka spoke calmly staring at Sasuke placidly.

Naruto gulped along with everyone else in the room including Tsunade who had only heard rumors of the temper that Iruka had. She was sure that it made her's look like a kitten had just been ruffled from a nap.

This was the calm before the proverbial storm.

"Go ahead and have the baby, but you both will stay in Konoha. I'm not letting you go off somewhere on your own with a child," Iruka told them. Naruto almost, not really close to almost, but kind of close if you squinted, told Iruka that as long as Sasuke would be with him he that he could go anywhere he wanted to seeing as how he would be an adult and would have funding, but thought better of it. Why end his life just to be politically correct?

"So, what are your plans?"

"Can I think about this?" Sasuke asked quietly. He looked around at the unbelieving stares, and the couple of glares that promised pain in the future should his "thinking time" go the wrong way.

He looked at Naruto. "I don't mean it like that," Sasuke objected once the reason of the glares had popped into his mind. "I just wanted to tell my family, and help to get everything ready. Just in case the next time I come here I get to leave alive with Naruto."

Usually everyone's eyes would have went towards Tsunade, but now they knew who really ruled the world.

Iruka slowly opened his closed eyes.

"Three days. If you don't make it in time you'll be paying child support while lying in a coma."

Well, that went better than he would have imagined, Naruto thought.

He almost let a smile spread over his face when Iruka's eyes snapped to him.

"Don't think you're not in trouble young man." And now his day was back to being crap again.

* * *

><p>"How are Neji &amp; Gaara enjoying their baby showerengagement party?" Naruto asked taking out two kinds of macaroni and cheese. One for expecting mothers, and the other for the lucky assholes who weren't pregnant.

"I think they find it funny that your mother still hates me, and wants to gut me like a stuck pig, and feed a third world country with it. So it's great, but he still doesn't like me," Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear wrapping his arms around the blonde's swollen stomach.

"So? Would you like the guy who defiled your baby, just happened to be their teacher, and got them pregnant, even if they took responsibility?" Naruto asked.

"Yes."

Naruto looked back at his husband. "Really?"

"What? My parents always told me it's never good to harbor ill feelings towards the dead, which is what that unlucky asshole will be should he decide to take an interest in my children."

That's more like it, Naruto smiled.

"Hey big bro!"

Naruto looked at Sano who was holding a sleeping toddler Setsuna close to him.

"I'm hungry, and Akane won't take Setsuna!"

"Give him to mom. I'm trying to finish this food you want to consume."

He stared at his little brother while he walked away crying out for Iruka who took Setsuna from him, and gave him a pack of cookies that Kakashi commented were for him, but acquiesced to giving them away when he received a "glance" from Iruka.

"For a twelve year old he sure acts young?" Sasuke commented.

"It's 'cause our mom is so the shit. When I started acting like a moody teen I didn't get any of the benefits I used to have when I was their little baby so I just did the same thing, and now here I am."

"Yeah, but it's easy to expect that from you. Ow! You kicked my shin."

"Sorry, honey, that's what we 12 year olds do," Naruto smiled before he went quiet as his mind went to work whirling in his head. "That means you're a pedophile. Ew!"


End file.
